A Thought Experiment: Post-Apocalypse Magic

4645_post_apocalypticI have a big speech to write to present on Friday in front of the entire faculty which will be many of their first introduction to me and determine how they see me ever more, and am stressed out about it. So of course, I’m going to blog instead!

I’ve found myself wondering lately what would happen to magic should a true global apocalypse happen. Lets not go with the zombies this time, how about something more like what happened in The Stand or perhaps a global EMP pulse that ruins all of our technology (I forget the name that series of books). Billions of humans die out. We are forced into tribal groups once more, possibly nomadic. I would bet any money we would see the rise of the magician shaman, people turning to him/her once more to get things done.

After a few generations this person would have access to bits of lore surviving from the previous civilization. What little literacy remained he would probably learn, seeking out scraps of magical lore. I think more likely is that popular forms of magic that are able to be passed down verbally would evolve and survive. I’m thinking here that Wicca would probably be prevalent. And not the traditional oath bound stuff, I’m taking Llewellyn based stuff here. Something that is practiced by thousands of Pagans before the fall and firmly entrenched in the praxis of it’s practitioners.

Also sigil tech seems pretty ubiquitous, even non-chaos practitioners use them. I know of very few magical folk who haven’t at least tried them. So lets put that in there as well. How about  Hoodoo? A primarily verbal tradition to begin with, it would probably revert back to being so again, and the emphasis on roots and regionally available plants would help it to be practical for the post-apocalyptic magician.

Perhaps in his tribes travels he interacts and compares notes with another tribes mage, who has an ancient weathered  print out of RO’s Angelic Grimiore, which has been handed down as a cherished relic from parent to child throughout the generations, each parent teaching their child Angelic Conjuration via Trithemius, making them memorize each conjuration before their coming of age ceremony (you know, those things we don’t have in our society any more). So our post-apocalyptic mage learns some of this and incorporates this into his repitiore.

So here you have this tribal magician who casts Wiccan circles and calls upon the 4 Greek elements, charges and empowers sigils, and likes to work with commonly found roots and plants to achieve his magic, and now calls on the ancients old benefactors in the form of archangels. Just eclectic as all hell.

You know what? I bet his magic would not only still work, but probably kick ass. You know what else I would bet? That the spirits would answer his call and adapt to his patch worked magical quilt. It would also evolve, he would learn of new spirits, new ways of doing things. Over even more generations his replacements would develop their own threads of magic, as would others from other tribes. Magic would continue to work, be somewhat based on what we know now and probably look similar to what we practice only superficially.

Eventually humanity would get their act together and civilization would rebuild itself, and someone would write down his own ancestors patchwork  magical system and call it “tradition” and make an argument that that’s the ways it’s always been done and we should never do anything different. At that time  people would probably argue about it on the newest post-apocalyptic version of the internet. eventually people would be telling each other how they are all doing it wrong and how only their ancestral tribes derivative is “correct”.  Thus magical dogma will be born anew.

Now I should go write that speech. Thanks for indulging me.

Sigil Dance

tribaldrums26323We can dance if you want to

you can leave your sigils behind

cause your sigils don’t dance,

and if they don’t dance, 

Well they’re no sigils of mine

–Men at work

 

Or something like that. That’s how that song goes right? In my ongoing quest to work with sigils I’ve discovered something that works for me… my sigils like to dance. I discovered this fact when I recently acquired a new ritual drum. I was doing a sigil shoal and figured that I would incorporate my new drum into the mix, drumming while I charge each sigil to aid in inhibitory gnosis. It all felt very… shamanic.

I started out drumming at a normal rhythmic cadence and eventually noticed two things:

1) As as drummed for each sigil, my rhythm would alter itself to a specific rhythm unique to each sigil. like I was zoning in on it’s own “special song”. This song was different for each sigil. I wasn’t making the rhythm myself either, I had to listen for it. I just knew when I hit the right rhythm because…

2) The sigils would start to dance. When I hit the right drumming rhythm they would “come alive” and start to twirl and dance with joy. They would turn on their axis, and wave their little sigilly appendages to and fro. I felt like they were interacting with me, rather than just being static images to be jammed into my mind.

It was about this time that I stopped thinking of my sigils as little drawings on a canvas, but rather unique individual spirits, each alive with joy. Each time I put incense on the burner it became an offering to the spirit of the sigil rather than just a way to alter my own consciousness. Suddenly my sigil work was less about jamming them down into my subconscious, and more about working with these  little living entities.  I don’t know if I created them, or if spirits came to accept the sigils I had created as their own, but it was clear this was an interaction, a collaboration, and that sigils just plain  like to dance.

I will never look at my sigils the same way again. Give it a try. Play some music for your sigils in whatever way you do it best. See if yours like to dance too.

Magic Washout

I find it interesting that when I looked at my reader this morning I saw at least 3 blog posts about how the last month or two has been a magical washout for many people. I’ve also heard individuals on other forms of social media say the same. I don’t know what it is, but it’s the same for me. The past 2 months has seen only minimal magical work in my temple other than participating in Her Sacred Fires and doing standard offerings. Its been frustrating!

I mentioned in the spring that I was going to do the Headless One Rite to figure out my S.A. (HGA whatever) situation. I did so, and I think adequately proved to myself that I had it all along, but then something popped, some sort of spiritual fuse tripped or something and I felt disconnected and spiritually dry for at least a month before I could even think of taking up the wand again. I’m attributing this to some sort of Crossing the Abyss phenomenon. Whatever it was, it sucked. I felt like I was missing one of my basic senses.

Also, the new job has been mega-stressful. I’d like to say that I was using magic to make my way easier, but I haven’t. I’ve barely had time to get settled into my new role and keep the family life in accord. Magic has taken a backseat these past two months. I’m finding myself coming to the Dark Moon and the new month of June with high hopes however.

I’ve had a renewed interest in Chaos Magic, not so much the old stuff, but it’s newest evolved post-chaos incarnation that seems to be the norm these days. I think I will always be a Chaote at my core no matter what system I am working.

I’ve been moved to finish up my damn planetary disks project I started a year ago, at the behest of my HGA. I’m putting the finishing touches on the Disk of the Moon, and then I plan to start evoking the planetary spirits again. I’ve been going back to basics with Jasons SS courses and re-familiarizing myself with that tech, which tends to serve as a baseline for everything I do these days anyway. Of course there is always Druidry, which may not always be in the forefront, but is always part of what I am doing some how.

Spiritually I’ve pretty much gone henotheisitic with Hekate. Almost. I’ve dedicated my temple space to be Her temple and swore more magical life altering oaths to her at Her Sacred Fires. We have a deal going on. Did you ever read the Terry Goodkind books (the first ones were great, but the last few got preachy and pedantic). Anyway in them, those loyal to the man character, Richard, swear an oath to him that keeps out the bad-guy dream walkers from getting into their head space. I have a similar thing with Hekate and other gods going on, so as not to be so “god-bothered”. It’s working well so far with one exception, Old Horney. My little god barrier seems to have no effect on him, so I’m still almost henotheisitc with Hekate, with a bit of Old Horney on the side.

I’ve begun writing my Hekate book, and am off to a good start. Submissions are starting to role in for the Hekate Prayer Book. Thanks all! I may not get back to you right away, but I will get back to you! Please keep them coming. As a matter of fact I’m going to be putting a blurb about it at the bottom of all my posts, so just be forewarned. ;) . Thanks again to everyone who has been spreading the word.

That’s all for now. I have some more thoughts on paths and labels, etc but I will save it for another post when I have time. Wishing everyone a magic filled summer, no matter what your path.

__________________________________________________________________

Submit to the Hekatean Prayer book. Prayers, invocations, rituals, and artwork all needed!

Hekate Literary Projects

Have I mentioned I’m writing a book? For awhile now I’ve been threatening wanting to write a basic “Starting work with Hekate” book. I will be writing this for Moon Books Pagan Portals Series. It will be entitled Hekatean Witchcraft (working title). It’s likely to be a slim volume, mainly aimed at those who want to start working with Hekate in a witchcrafty way, as well as containing my own personal praxis with her. Though it is aimed at beginers, it will (hopefully) have more than a few gems for experianced practioners as well. It will contain some of the following:

  • History of Hekate
  • Hekate in the Chaldean Oracles
  • Rites and Rituals including: A basic Hekatean compass round, philactery, Protective chant, Hekatean Mojo bag, tools, ancestor work, creation of a devotional key, and Hekatean animal necromancy.
  • Working with Hekate though the year and festivals.
  • A special section in which the reader will be given a complete Hekatean path-working for the purposes of meeting the goddess and petitioning entrance to her mysteries including an open astral temple with instructions on how to access it. This will serve as a safe place for new devotees to experience the goddess for the first time if they have not already done so.  The path working will then be laid out in a format for either memorization, ritualized reading, or audio recording.

I’m aiming to have it done by September, so I’m hoping for it to be out early Winter.

I’m also writing a chapter on Hekatean Witchcraft for Moon Book’s upcoming anthology celebrating 60 years of Gerald Gardner’s Witchcraft Today.

Also, don’t forget about my Hekatean Prayer Book project! I’ve received a few submissions so far, but will need many many more if this is going to become a reality. So visualize me with a whip cracking above you yelling “SUBMIT”: The Hekatean Prayer Book Project

The 4th Annual Rite of Her Sacred Fires

247657_10200932600538470_323811287_nFor those not aware, this weekend is the 4th Annual Rite of Her Sacred Fires. Wow 4 years already? Where did the time go? The rite is to be performed on the full moon where you live. Even though the official dates say 25th-26th, by my calculation the full moon here  in Wisconsin is on the 24th around 11:30pm, so that is when I will be performing the rite. Devotees around the world will be joining in wherever they live. If you feel so inclined  join us. information about performing the rite is here: 
http://hekatecovenant.com/rite-of-her-sacred-fires/rite-in-translation/english-the-rite-of-her-sacred-fires/

Also I just wanted to add a personal THANK YOU for everyone who has reblogged my Heaktean Prayer Book project. I haven’t been able to reply individually but a serious thank you to everyone who has helped to spread the word.

Here is my shrine all set up for it.

Here is my shrine all set up for it.

The Hekatean Prayer and Ritual Book: Call for Submissions

Since doing Hoofprints in the Wildwood, I’ve been wanting to do a devotional for Hekate. However, there are so many Devotionals out there for her already most notably by Avalonia and B.A. So I’ve decided not to do a devotional proper, but rather a Hekatean Prayer and Ritual book, which I think there is much need for. This will be a book of prayers and rituals only, with images for meditational use. The idea being something you can take with you, read some prayers out of in either ritual or just thumb through reading prayers and looking at artwork on the fly for inspiration. The focus of this book is really prayer and ritual, so there will be no essays or poetry or the normal fare you would see in a standard devotional. I personally think something like this would be a boon to the community, not only to help new people coming to her service, but those of us where are current devotees as well.

I am currently opening up submissions! The deadline for submission is November 3oth, 2013, with the possibility of extension until the Winter Solstice if I haven’t gotten many submissions. This will be self published by me through Lulu. I cannot offer royalties or free physical copies of the book, but each person who submits will get a free electronic copy. The details are below:

Call for Submissions for the Hekatean Prayer Book

I am currently accepting all submissions for the Hekatean prayer book. I am looking for original Prayers, rituals, and devotional artwork.

Prayers, Chants, and Invocations: Prayers may be of any length and style, so long as it is original, and directed to the goddess Hekate. Poetry will not be accepted! I realize this is a fine line as prayers can be poetic, but poetry for literary purposes is not in the scope of this book. The submission must be clearly a prayer directed to Hekate (which can be as poetic as you like) that is designed to be spoken aloud.  Chants will also be accepted, as well as mantras. Devotional songs and music are acceptable.

Rituals: I am also looking for rituals of a devotional manner. Not spells, but devotional rituals of all sorts, energy work, etc. Be creative! These can be as long or short as you want. If you have a personal devotional ritual that you used, or even meditation, that would be perfect for this work.

Artwork: I’d like to artwork of Hekate throughout the book to meditate on. These can be pictures, shrines, paintings, photo manips, etc. Also accepted will be abstract Hekatean concepts such as keys, snakes, dogs, skulls, etc. Also, we’ll need a cover image!

Please send all submissions to Skyllaros@gmail.com

Again the deadline is November 3oth, 2013. I will be the final judge on all submissions. You must also be willing to sign an agreement to have your work included, which will be sent to you by email.

Any reblogs, retweets, and signal boosts would be appreciated. Lets make this thing a reality.

Mirth and Reverence: Living La Vida Magico

I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams … glitter in the dark near Tanhauser Gate. All those … moments will be lost … in time, like tears … in rain.” -Roy Batty Bladerunner

I like to joke. I also like magic. Thus, I like to joke about magic. Usually on Twitter. Sometimes I have to wonder how people take that. From the outside, if you don’t know me, it might seem like I’m being a braggart or doing the “look at me, magic!” thing. The truth is… I find the magical life utterly absurd and I like to share that. Think about it. As magicians we see some crazy shit, but that’s not exactly what I’m talking about. Those who live the magical life, who live and breath their magic, will often times find themselves in positions that non-magical people would find utterly absurd. I think it’s good to recognize those times and laugh at ourselves a little bit when they occur. It’s a unique part of living the magical life. For instance some situations I’ve found myself in.

  •    That time when the neighbor came to door holding eggs he found underneath our tree, to warn my wife that our toddler is probably stealing our eggs and hiding them under trees, and she had to tell him that no, it was probably just her husband.
  •   When my wife and I both got packages from UPS on the same day. Hers contained new summer clothes. Mine, a  goat skull.
  • When you find yourself on an thousand year old Meso-American step pyramid at midnight, holding public ritual in the middle of a raging thunderstorm, soaked to the bone and it hits you… Normal people just don’t do this shit.
  • Every budding necromancer fondly remembers their teenage years, hiding from police high beams behind grave stones in the cemetery… right?
  • This week I had to go through a security checkpoint and have my pocket belongings scanned. The guard was particularly perplexed by my mojo hand, resulting in an explanation as to why I was carrying around a bag of roots and herbs and just what it was for.
  • Speaking of security checkpoints, try going through an airport security line with a 14″ statue of Baphomet in your bag, and notice the reaction from the x-ray peeps.
  • Or try explaining to your PhD thesis adviser why you just bought two dozen black candles and a voodoo doll at a international scientific conference in New Orleans. (My answer: “Well, because you cant get them back home”).
  • That awkward moment when your friend asks you to do a tarot reading for him because he doesn’t believe in “that stuff”, and you tell him his fiance is pregnant with someone else’s baby and he gets mad at you… Until he finds out his fiance is pregnant with someone else’s baby.
  • Who hasn’t walked two miles through the middle of town carrying a Big Ass Cast Iron Cauldron? (picture a very professional looking man in business dress and a tie caring a big black cast iron cauldron through town as if it’s a normal everyday occurance).
  • Harvesting a raccoon skeleton you found on your lunch break, only to go back to work smelling of dead raccoon and hoping no one notices.

I mean come on… these things are utterly absurd, and this is my life. Exactly the way that I like it. I think there is a place for mirth in a magical practice. Thats not to say I don’t take my practice seriously. I take it VERY seriously otherwise the above situations wouldn’t happen. But have you ever peeked into a modern magical/pagan message board? You’d think that the fate of the world hangs on the back of these magical practioners. It’s all Very. Serious. Business. All the time. Where is the mirth? Why so serious? I’ve never been into Discordianism, but I can see their point. I think the magical world would be a bit less infufferable if people just stood back and took the time to laugh at themselves once in awhile.

Beside my gods, have a sense of humor. Sure theres the initiations and trials and shit, but they like to laugh too. I once asked Odin for a clear sign while on a walk, only about 30 seconds later to come to a the word “SIGN” painted in blue in the middle of the road by a road crew (apparently marking where the new street sign will go). Don’t tell me the Old Man wasn’t up there cracking up at that shit.

So if you find me joking about magic, its not because I’m trying to show you what a great and powerful mage I am by dangling tidbits of my oh so great life in front of you. I’m just sharing with you a bit of what my magical life is like… And sometimes, it’s just fucking hilarious (to me at least). So good readers, assuming there are still any of you left after my recent blogging hiatus. Share with me! What are some of the more absurd moments in your magical life?

39646_1559319111143_2953152_n

My Meager Juniper-Inspired Casting Collection

collectionDivination has always been my weak point. I’m just not terribly good at it. I can do magic ok, but divination, I’m just crap at. As for magical alphabets I can use the Runes or Ogham ok in a ritual context, but I could never learn to divine meaning from them in a divination context. I hate tarot. The only deck I have really connected with is the Wildwood Tarot, and even then I don’t go by card meanings. I tend to “scry” the cards and let them tell me a story, but its never based on traditional meanings of the cards or spread positions. I’ve considered even cutting off the names at the bottom of each card and using them as a pure oracle deck (I may still do that actually). Speaking of oracle decks, while I like the various ones out there, the Druid Animal and Plant oracles, Heart of Faerie  etc… I just cant read with them without resorting to the book. This ruins the experience for me. I hate any divination that makes me have to read or memorize a meaning out of a book.  Polyphanes has done some amazing amazing posts on the subject  of Geomancy lately. I’ve read them and JMG’s book on the subject, but it’s just not a system that will resonate with me either I’m afraid. My hat is off to those who can work it though.

One of the reasons I like magical evocation into a crystal is that it offers me the opportunity to speak to a spirit directly, but who wants to conjure a spirit every time you need a simple reading? Can you say overkill? For awhile now I’ve been admiring and wanting to try Junipers Casting Collection method. I think the intuitive approach is just what would work for me. Also since my practice seems to be being leading back to a more Traditional Witchcraft/Druidry road again it fits in more with what I want and where I want to go with my own practice. I’ve seen others do the same thing lately, and it gave me a bit of a kick in the but to get busy and at least try to get my collection started even if it wont be awesome to start with.

Trouble is, I haven’t attempted it before because I didn’t think I had enough “stuff” to make a decent collection with. So last night I lit the temple fires, and asked the spirits to guide my mind and hands. I then went on a scavenger hunt through my temple area to see if I could come up with the start of a collection at least. Better something to begin with than nothing all right? Incidentally I find this is half of magic. Getting off your butt and doing something, anything, even if it’s not “perfect”. Hard for perfectionists? For now here is what I came up with. Turns out I still don’t have a whole lot!  I fully expect my own collection to be a living entity that will get added to as time goes on. It’s a nucleus only right now, just to get started with. You’ll notice I only have a few elemental and planetary pieces here. I plan to hunt out more to complete the elemental/planetary associations. I’d like all 4 elements and 7 planets represented ideally. Since I have recently explored a more ceremonial approach, and I’m taking that back with me into the Witchy Wilds, it will likely have a few ceremonial aspects to it.

I also want to paint the casting cloth. What I’m using now is some sort of spotted cat pelt I got in Miami last time I was there. We will see if it is big enough. I have some ideas for symbols I want to put on it. So here is the very rough start of my collection. Many thanks to Juniper for inspiring it and pioneering the concept! I hope to post again down the line when it grows into something greater. So far it seems to be just what I needed/wanted in terms of intuitive divination. I think this is going to work for me better than the other methods I’ve tried, even with only these few pieces already

So here are my own collection pieces and their meanings and origins:

Raccoon Rib Bone

Meaning: Manipulation of events, cunning, use of wits, intelligence.

Origin: Found whole raccoon skeleton while doing offerings at the beach one day.

Amber: 

Meaning: The Sun, Health, Good times, Favor and Fortune

Origin: Have had it since I was a kid. Bought in a store somewhere.

Water Smoothed Glass Shard: 

Meaning: Water, emotion, fluidity, cleansing

Origin: Found on the local beach at Lake Mendota.

Red Stone: 

Meaning: Fire, heat, activity, increase

Origin: Have had it since I was a kid. Bought in a store somewhere.

Steel Penney: 

Meaning: Mars. War. Strife. Attacking. War fare.

Origin: Bought this for my talisman project but ended up not using it. Steel Pennies were produced during WWII during copper rationing. It’s also been marinating in War Oil for about a year now for added oomph.

Acorn: 

Meaning: Stability. Growth. Quiet Strength.

Origin: Found locally.

Owl Bone: 

Meaning: Wisdom, levity, flight, spirit and animal familiars.

Origin: A gift from an awesome Witch ;)

Tusk of a Gnotobiotic Miniature Swine:

Meaning: The God. Masculine Energy. Protection. Necessary war. Aggression. Go on the offense.

Origin: Given to me by a veterinarian when I was in grad school. He insisted I take it, even though at the time I had no idea what to do with it. I like to think of it as a boar tusk (even though its from a miniature swine).

Antique Skeleton Key: 

Meaning: Open Doors and pathways.

Origin: Local antique store.

Wooden Skull Bead: 

Meaning: Death. The ancestors influence.

Origin: Online store.

Apple Branch: 

Meaning: Otherworld, magic, mysticism, parting of the veil.

Origin: The In-Laws apple orchard

Fish Vertebrae: 

Meaning: I have no idea yet. It has yet to speak to me, but it was clear it wanted in the collection.

Origin: I found it again at Lake Mendota’s beach.

Amethyst Stone: 

Meaning: Spirituality, spiritual concerns

Origin: Have had it since I was a kid. Bought in a store somewhere.

Rusty Iron Nail

Meaning: Aversion from danger, finality, “The nail in the coffin”.

Origin: Antique store in Baraboo.

Hekate Coin: 

Meaning: Hekate’s influence directly

Origin: 
http://scrollofpoppaeus.wordpress.com/

Pyrite: 

Meaning: False hopes, lies, deceit.

Origin: Again, have had it forever.

Crystal Point: 

Meaning: Clarity, purpose

Origin: Local new age shop

Aqua Aura Stone:

Meaning: Jupiter. Increase. Fortune. Grace.

Origin: Local new age shop

Alligator tooth: 

Meaning: Luck, fortune, take the gamble, can’t win if you don’t play.

Origin: Lucky Mojo Curio Company

Lead Disk (not shown)

Meaning: Saturn, blinding, slowing, death,

Origin: I cast it myself with a blow torch.

Quarter with a hole drilled in it (not shown)

Meaning: Financial distress, losing money, poor finances

Origin: I found it on the road one day. Someone must of made a necklace out of it? Why else drill a hole through a quarter? <shrug>.

Your Brain on Magic

energy-bodies For the last two weeks I’ve fallen off my daily magical practice schedule. I like to have some sort of daily practice, even if it’s just one offering and prayer, or just some energy work. I usually try for more than that, but sometimes you’ve got to make do with what you can.  The past two weeks have been kind of different. Both my wife and I are starting new jobs and getting used to new schedules. There have been 3 sick kids at home, all adjusting to their first experiences with day care (and grumpy as all shit!).  At the end of the night it’s been all I could do to collapse with a glass wine or tea and relax a bit before heading to bed exhausted. So my magical practice has suffered. I planned on picking it back up next week when our schedules change to more manageable levels.

Thing is, I’ve felt like crap this past week and I didn’t even realize it. Just sludgy, and somewhat depressed. I didn’t even associate this with my lack of practice. Last night I did a full daily routine. Full banishing  with energy work, and a Mass of Baphomet in the day and hour of Mercury with offerings like I used to do before I fell off the practice. I had the clearest dreams. I woke up feeling amazing and happy and energetic. No depression or sludge. Colors brighter, smells sharper and all that cliche jazz. I just had an unshakable happy disposition and tons of energy that has lasted all day.

Then I realized, this is your brain on magic. This is how I normally feel and it’s just become so routine I’ve failed to notice it until I didn’t feel it for awhile. Slowly I was slipping back to a steady state zero. If there is any justification for doing magic and or energy work, this is certainly a big one.  Sometimes it’s good to have these reminders on exactly why one practices in the first place.

Life.

It’s better with magic.

The Great Work Calls

tumblr_mj8b4tOrrk1qm46lfo1_500 Last year I set upon the path the gain my Supernatural Assistant (Henceforth SA). I used Frater R.O.’s White Work as the basis of my search. Did my prayer to the First Father for about a month before hand, did my solar initiation, and practiced the Borneless One each day. In about a month I had… something. Something that I thought was indeed my SA. My biggest fear was deluding myself on this. I tested it through Michael and it seemed to survive so I went with it.

About this time thought the powers of the Sphere of the Sun were working their mojo on my life (read wreaking havock). As I wrote at the time, the process kind of made my life fall apart for awhile. In truth, it simply exposed the shaky foundation I was standing on and made it intolerable for me to stay on that broken ground any longer. It gave me the needed kick in the pants I needed to get up and get a move on. It was scary and it sucked, but I’m glad I did it.

To my frustration though, after summoning Raphael for advice, he told me to sit tight for awhile  because magic couldn’t solve my problem… yet. Didn’t stop me from trying. I threw massive amounts of magic at the problem. Didn’t work. So for the past year I’ve been building relationships, honing my skills, and waiting until the time was right to launch my magic, which I did.

Things are good now.  My relationship and family life is better and stronger. I have a new job, which I love and which is helping me to build the skills for even greater things down the line.  Money is no longer such of an issue (it’s always an issue, but not a critical issue now). My foundation is no longer shaky (that I know of!).  Life is pretty good.

I’m still unsure if I have my real S.A. though. I thought I did at first. I certainly conjured my good Genius, and from it got my SA’s name and sigil. At first it gave me some great advice (like building my planetary disks), and insight into the nature of the magician and myself. Then it seemed all too eager to lead me into some pretty dark paths. Now I have no problem with “teh dark magics”, but it seemed very un-SA like in it’s enthusiasm for the darkness. I don’t know maybe it knew something I didn’t and I needed to go there? Anyway I was suspicious.  So I conjured Michael again and asked for him to re-direct the power of the sun on to my angel. I haven’t heard from it since. That was about 6 months ago. Consider me confused.

Somewhere along the line I made a mistake. I either made a mistake in thinking I had the angel to begin with, or a mistake in believing it’s left me or was the wrong entity. So I’m going to begin again. Now that it’s spring (ie HGA season) I’m going to do the whole damn process over again. I’m on sturdy ground now so I’m betting the powers of the sun will have less to mess with in my life. If I don’t have my SA I damn well plan to roll up my sleeves and get it. If I do have it, then it can only increase the bond and make things clearer and stronger.

Now I know there was a hub bub a few months ago on the old blog-o-sphere where the general consensus was that you don’t really need an SA or HGA. I fully agree. I don’t think you do need one to do effective magic. I however feel the need to pursue it for my own personal goal, so that’s what I’m going with. This thing has been a thorn in my side for far too long. I need to figure out where I stand with this. The Great Work calls.

(Why the alien pic? As I’ve mentioned before, when I first started a-conjuring the Celestials they appeared to me, much to my surprise, as very grey-alien like. Still do from time to time, though I get traditional manifestations as well.  I fully think there is a connection there. No, I don’t have any insight as to what that may be).