Altar Show and Tell

  So I’ve been re-arranging my altars a bit recently trying to find a configuration that works for me. I’ve pretty much settled on the follow for my full altar set up. I found this set of tables at an amazing price at the local antique store. I was going got leave and think about them, but I physically could not leave until they were mine! I also found an assortment of other items there, such as the antlers, incense burner, and various other stuff (which resulted in the shop owner questioning me on why I needed all these items. I half considered rolling up my sleeve to show my rather large Horned God tattoo and telling them that I’m a sorcerer, that’s why, but I refrained).

Anyway, this provoked a full on altar rearrangement! It’s divided into two sections, the upper for Hekate and the bottom for Old Horney, my respective patrons. Inside the drawers are all my incenses, oils, lamens, metal talismans, and stones.

Below are close up of each half. Here is Hekate’s shrine. The photo above is Hellfurians Hekate print from The Voodoo Store. She is surrounded by vessels for Earth, Sea, and Sky. The skulls are a swine skull, 2 coyotes, and my raccoon familiar. There is also a snake bell, a brass offering cup, and the disks on either side are two of Jason Millers Hekate’s wheels from Protection and Reversal Magic, which I charged this past dark moon (another post on that later). The lamp is a sacred flame that is on whenever I am in the temple area.

Hekates Shrine

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Below that is the Old Horney shrine. It’s um… pretty much self explanatory. Statue, antlers, and skull for the Him, another brass offering glass, a skull for my ancestors, my ovate stone, an Awen disk and my ritual dagger.

 

 

 

 

 

Lets not forget my Hermetic Conjuration Station, surrounded by candles for the 4 elemental angels. I’m going to be making a new one soon. I find it’s just too big. I’m going to reduce the size to a smaller box and just have an array of switches inside to change the color of the light as needed. That’s my project for next year though. In front are pewter and tin talismans I made for Elubatel and Nitika. Oh and to the right is my stang and cauldron. So that’s the current set up, and I love it. Sometimes I go spend time in this area, not the do any magic, but to just spend time with the spirits who reside here. It’s very much a place of peace for me.

 

Book Review: Druidry and Meditation

Disclaimer: This book was sent to me free as a review copy by Moon books. This in no way has colored my view or this review. In short, if I didn’t like the book, I would say so.

When I first saw that a new book called Druidry and Meditation by Nimue Brown was being released I was very excited. Her blog, Druid Life,  is one that I gain much inspiration from. There are many books on Druidry out there and many books on meditation as well. Given that meditation is such a core practice of Druidry, I’m surprised a book like this that puts them together hasn’t come along sooner!

It does so very well however. The book explains meditation from a primarily Druid perspective and give the Druid many techniques from the tool box from which to choose. I think this book would be valuable to anyone on an earth based path however, it’s use is not just limited to druids!

Nimue writes the book in her characteristic take you by the sleeve and speak casually style, so that the experience seems more like a one on one conversation. She goes over many topics of use to druids and pagans alike, finally from their own perspective. Inside you will find instructions for walking meditations and connecting with the earth, plants, and animals as well as the 4 classical elements. Also, and extremely valuable addition I thought was the section on how to connect with spirits, which is something that one hears individuals talk about all the time, but is often hard for new comer to get specifics on.

She also goes into the basics of pathworking, contemplation, and joint opening exercises as well as more standard Druidic concepts such as shapeshifting, drumming, chanting, connecting with places, and connecting with your ancestors. The book ends with group meditation work, which was less valuable to me personally being a life long solitary, but a valuable addition to the book none the less considering many druids practice in established groves. The book is relatively thin at 163 pages, but packs in a ton in what’s there.

One of the best features of the book, in my opinion, is also the most intangible. It just drips Druidry, an indefinable essence you can’t put your finger on. As with all her writing it simply makes you want to go out and do something… Druidic! If you are a pagan or druid or even a witch a better book on meditation tailored for your practices could not be found. I really enjoyed this one.

PBP: B is for Bardic Grade

When I first came to Druidry round about 2005, and was a brand spanking new Druidic seeker, within the space of a two months I had joined AODA, OBOD, and ADF. Mainly I wanted to get a good feeling of each flavor of Druidry that was open to me. Looking back, taking on all 3 systems of learning was WAY too ambitious, but it did have the effect of exposing me to three completely different Druidic structures.

I very quickly learned I’m not an ADF type. I know and respect tons of individuals who flourish in ADF (never met one I didn’t like!), but it just never “clicked” with me. Over the years I’ve renewed my membership a few times to give it another try (thinking that like Sushi was for me, it might be an acquired taste), but it still hasn’t worked for me up to this day (though one never knows what the future has in store). It’s the Druid revival, with all of it’s own admitted problems and limitations, that seems to fire up my soul for whatever reason. I’m a Druid, and I’m pagan, but I’m not really a Pagan Druid. Actually my Druidry style seems more focused on animism than paganism.

So while fully recognizing ADF is filled with wonderful people who I consider brothers and sisters under the “Druid umbrella”, it was one style of Druidry that I decided was not for me. This is actually something I like about Druidry, how there are many different branches for different personality types yet we’re all Druids in the end somehow. This makes me happy (It makes me very sad, however to see the “My kind of Druidry is the only REAL kind” arguments I see erupting over the net from time to time. That’s all I’ll say about that for now, I could go into full blown rant mode here).

I decided to stick with the AODA and OBOD and decided to focus on Revival Druidry solely those first few years. Both orders had their beginnings in the same movement, yet each have vastly different approach and feel to them. In the end I focused on OBOD first because really it was OBOD that I felt most comfortable with. In OBOD (and now the AODA too!), the phases of Druid study are divided up into Bard, Ovate, and Druid. I knew right away that my “calling” as it where lay in the Ovate grade. I wanted nothing else but to hurry up and get there, but to do so I had to go through the Bardic grade. So I gritted my teeth and did it. Of course it took me 5 years of many false starts and stops (about two of those years I gave up spirituality again all together). I’d say 90% of my work in the bardic grade was done in the last 2 years when I really got serious about it, and Druidry in general.

I’m not going to pretend that I absolutely loved the bardic grade either though. It’s very geared toward “Paganism 101″. I’ve heard a lot of criticism about this from others actually, considering the price involved.  However, whereas the AODA felt very ceremonial to me, OBOD felt more shamanic (Now I honestly like both approaches and is why I like combining the two). Besides I liked it’s ritual structure, which I still use in my daily rites for it’s simplicity and down to Earth feeling.

The Bardic grade introduces you to the 5 elements, making you spend time with each one, which I’d done many times before. It also can be very vague at times, giving you a seed thought and expecting you to do your own follow up and research. I don’t think using the bardic grade material as your sole material would get you very far, you are really expected to do your own leg work and encouraged to explore beyond it’s bounds. I will fully admit that it’s not for everyone (nor should it be, how boring would that be?).

I wanted to do this right though dammit (time to be a real Druid! For those Hyperbole and a Half fans out there).) So I gave it my full undivided focus, taking one Gwersi about every two weeks to work through it’s contents, study it, and meditate on it. In short, incorporate it into my Sphere.  It’s interesting that at this time in my life all I wanted was to study Druidry, nothing else. I wasn’t even very much into magic, I just wanted the spiritual aspects. I’ve heard that the bardic grade is designed to plumb the very depths of your soul and do some sort of inner-alchemy on you to prepare you for the work ahead. It seems to be very effective in that result. Despite finding some of the work to be a bit tedious, it “did something” behind the scenes to me.

In retrospect I think the bardic course was kind of like having Mr.Miyagi standing over me.

Any connection to Phillip Carr-Gomm I wonder?

All that time spent doing stuff I thought I already knew how to do, stuff I thought I had mastered years ago all came together at the end and somehow made me better. It didn’t necessarily make me a Druid, but it did make me a better one.

What? I have to walk to Earth with awareness again? I did that years ago Grumble Grumble! (Wax on, Wax Off). You mean I have to go contemplate a body of water. Pfffft I did that as a teenager! (Here’s your paint brush, now get started!).

Somehow by the end it did perform some sort of spiritual alchemy on me behind the scenes. It also gave me a very solid foundation in Revival Druidry to serve as my further launching pad. Very shortly after finishing the course, my “magic side” got unlocked hard, and I’ve been hungry for it ever since. I attribute this to that alchemy process and the final lessons of the course where the key. This led me on a journey that has taken me away from Druidry many times, yet always called me back home. The bardic grade also opened me up to new ideas such as the idea of actually being a bard. It helped me develop and nurture artistic side that is very valuable to me I pursue my work further. The bard is not the Druidic archetype I’m most suited for,  but now somewhere inside of me a bard does exist now. In short, I don’t think everyone would like the course, especially if you’ve been Pagan for a long time, but it was extremely useful and a large stepping block for me. I’m very glad I stuck it out and finished it.

I eventually joined the Ovate grade, the place I’d been chomping at the bit to get to in the first place, and promptly got stuck. Not just a little stuck, but good and stuck. Apparently it’s not uncommon at all to have multiple re-starts in the Ovate grade. I fully intend to finish it one day, but it may take me another 5 years. That’s ok though, I have plenty of time and am not in a hurry. I’ll get there when I get there.

Alban Arthan 2011 (Winter Solstice)

 

I retreat to my “power spot” on the beach, where I have been frequenting all summer. It’s a place where Earth, Sea, and Sky all meet. The once inviting water, now harsh and filled with threatening
waves, the warm sand now covered with a thin layer of snow. A fallen
branch, washed and smoothed in the tumbling waves, lends itself to my purpose, temporarily becoming my staff. I mark
my circle on the ground in the snow and call out to the four traditional sacred totems of the directions, Hawk, Stag, Salmon, and Bear. The leaves that once hid me from view, now gone from the trees. I stand visible and vulnerable but confidently call out to them. No one else it seems comes this way once the weather turns frigid.  I invite my gods new and old and the spirit of the lake, the playful Serpent Winnebozo,  to witness my vows : 

I make my promise to be true to my path
To seek out that which nourishes my soul
To allow my ember to grow to a raging fire
To serve my gods as long as we both will it to be so
To dedicate my practice from this day forth to the seeking of Truth
To recognize that it won’t always be easy
There will be time when I feel distant and disconnected from my path and
my gods
To resolutely stay on the path anyway

I vow to live in such a way that honors the Earth, my Gods, and my family
To live up to my true magical potential
To pursue the ways of Druidry in whichever ways they continue to reveal
themselves to me. I vow to always continue learning, and to always continue to seeking way
to make myself a better Druid.

I look down at the circle I have drawn. Though I did not notice it when I
came in, the area is somehow filled with rose petals, in the middle of
December, all lodged and wet in the snow. I take it as my answer from the Earth.

And so I begin a new. Having within the past 3 months reaffirmed both my commitment to both my Craft and now my Druidry (which I had planned to walk away from forever but just will neot let me go). I went home and cleaned off my Hekate altar. Yes, it was as painful as I thought it would be. I almost talked myself out of doing it. I did it anyway. I just knew that nothing would ever change unless I started fresh. Totally fresh. I washed the wood of the table with Florida water and rebuilt.

Only bones and tools this time, no man made deity images as of yet. That may change, but for now I’m enjoying the more “shamanic” feel of only being surrounded by eye sockets staring out, though not empty, bone and fur. One thing I’m absolutely sure of is that I want to do more “bone work”. My path seems to be taking more of a Shamanic edge these days.

I erected a small Hekate shrine in the corner. I’ll always be an initiate of Hekate. This I know, I’ve made my vows to her and I don’t take such things lightly. However, I’ve known for a long time, and have lied to myself about it, that she was an initiator on my path. More and more she has been withdrawing as my primary deity relationship. I will always treasure our relationship, I will continue to tend her shrine and keep her rites, but in order for me to grow I know she is “kicking me out of the nest” so to speak. “Go, there are others waiting” she tells me. And so I do.

It’s been 6 months since I had that dream about The Morrigan. I’ve told her no thanks, but that didn’t really seem to work as well as I had hoped. Miraculously she’s still around even after these 6 months, and I’ve finally begun working with her more in depth. I’m not swearing any oaths, not jumping head long into another patronage but just accepting her and working with her at this point, which seems to be enough.  It feels good. Weird thing is, I’m find her somehow more “present” than I’m used to with Hekate, who has traditionally been very distant.  It’s taking some getting used to. I’m wearing this raven skull as a devotional reminder of her lately.

Also hanging around again, are

what I’m beginning to realize as my ancestral gods, Wuldor and Skadhi. I think their always kind of their in the background, but I think they are deities related to my ancestral line in some way. Before he died, I was able to get out of my father some more details about where our family is from. He was born on the banks of the Ullr river it seems, which would explain why I always feel close to these two. I’m finding I’m wanting to work with them again too. The thing is however, I know from experience that these two are always the “front runners” whenever the Norse gods deep to come back into my life. First comes Wuldor and Skadhi, then Odin and the rest are not far behind. It hasn’t happened yet, but I would not be surprised if I go more in this direction. I honestly miss the Norse gods, who are the gods of blood.

My relationship with Old Horney is unchanged as ever. So a nice mix of Norse and Celtic for the moment, which is alright by me. Hell, I’m beginning to feel like a Polytheist again (Hums: It’s beginning to look a lot like polytheism, every where you go….).

What the postman brought me…

Over the past week I’ve been getting some great stuff from the postman! Now all my packages are in and I’m very pleased with my recent acquisitions.

On the top right corner you’ll see one of Sorceress Cagliastro’s Blood Sorcery Bibles. It’s one of only 30 hand bound, hand written grimiores explaining some of her techniques in blood sorcery and necromancy that she hints about on her show. When I first saw her talking about them Hela practically screamed at me “BUY THIS NOW”. I have to say after reading through it I now have a much healthier respect for what she does, and necromancy in general. The chapter on Self Vivisection alone made me realize this stuff is for the truly dedicated.  I’ll be slowly working through this material and taking it very seriously.

On the bottom right you’ll see my bobcat skull, which arrived broken in 3 pieces (thanks to Sarah & my friend John should he be reading, for suggesting the use of a hot glue gun). Now it’s all fixed up. I’ll be making this into a fetish for my familiar spirit, who we shall just call E. You see, E. has been one of my most treasured spirit companions who’s help I am truly grateful for. I’ll be painting up the skull to serve as a proper vessel for him in the near future to repay his efforts.

On the top left is my new crane bag (actually a black powder bag, “re-purposed”) with an elk horn button and below that is a matching elk horn riflemans dagger which will be my new ritual blade dedicated to Old Horny. I’ve been searching for a crane bag for a long long time, but nothing I saw “did it” for me. This pair really cried out for me to take them home. The best part is, the bag has a built in sheath to hold the dagger as so:

I got some ribbing from a friend about buying what amounts to a spiritual purse, but hopefully a spiritual purse with a 6 inch blade attached to it will be manly enough to ward off any would be hecklers. I’m hoping to make good use of both of them out in the field this spring, before I turn into a pumpkin on the Summer Solstice (ie, when the twins are due).

Just wanted to share, thanks for reading!

The Road Home

A fresh start, room to grow, a new blog. These are the things that I want, need right now. Somewhere along the line I feel that I’ve lost my path. The side paths were too interesting and I had a lot of fun exploring them. Ultimately there comes a point where the main path either beckons you back, or you risk getting lost on those winding side paths forever.

When I started my old blog, it was from the perspective of someone who was coming back to Paganism after years of atheism and exploring the left hand path traditions. It served it’s purpose in helping me to grow and explore, but there comes a time when a plant gets big enough that you have to re-pot it to give it room to grow or it stifles and dies in the limited space that originally served to house it. I feel that I need that room right now a chance to start over and not be overcome by the momentum that my old blog was leading me on. I found it very hard to escape that inertia that was behind me of false starts, wrong turns, and old definitions. I’m sure I’ll have my share of them here too, but the very act of starting over fresh has behind it a powerful symbolism.

Let me make it clear this blog is for me. I’m not writing it for other people, I’m not writing it to be interesting, I’m not writing it to appear knowledgeable or impress you with how much I know or impress upon you how devoted I am. I don’t care if anyone ever reads it, though if you do choose to join me, I hope that we can be companions on the journey, if even for a short time.

Sometime last summer, closer to the fall really, I started having doubts about my path as a Druid. I had just started the OBOD Ovate course, and the AODA apprentice curriculum, and everything fell apart. Since then I’ve explored new systems, redefined myself about a half dozen times, and have generally been miserable. I can’t tell you how many nights I sat in front of my altar wondering where to go next. Doing “my own thing” was a breath of freedom at first, but I quickly realized the value of tradition. Don’t get me wrong, I think this was a necessary part of my journey, but I long to go home now; hopefully this time a little bit wiser and more sure of myself.

My problems with Druidry were many fold. I felt that because I had no affinity for the Celtic deities I had no business defining myself as such. Also the orders I belonged to did not seem to truly encompass what I viewed a Druid to be in my mind, though they helped enrich me in their own right. In someway I couldn’t put my finger on I longed for something more. My explorations into Traditional Witchcraft have helped me learn many things which I will take back with me, but in the end I know that I’m not a Traditional Witch. Witchcraft remains a integral part of my own Druid path, but it is not the entirety of that path.

Not long ago I heard the call of Cerridwen, A goddess I have never dealt with, whom I journeyed to see. What transpired is for my knowledge only, but it set in motion my return to Druidry. That same night Emma Restall Orr’s book Living Druidry fell off my bookshelf and opened to a page I really needed to read. I hated this book when I first got it and promptly set it on my shelf without a second thought after the first read though. Now it seemed like an entirely new book to me! I found myself eagerly devouring it’s contents and having words and phrases leap off the page making sense to me. Sometimes we’re just not ready to read the books that come into our lives, but they have a way of making themselves known when we are.

Not long after that I discovered this article on Feral Druidry by Craig Cartmell. It was another knock on the head for me, describing perfectly my own personal view of Druidry and my experience with it. I now strive to have a balance between working with the Traditional druid orders, and listening to the call of nature while “doing my own thing”. I’ve named my blog after this concept (I hope Mr.Cartmell won’t mind). Again, this is not something I wrote or thought of, but it’s a concept that I wish to frame my Druidry around, as it pretty much sums up my view on the subject perfectly.

New vistas ahead, new mistakes to make. Spring is a good time for new starts. It’s time to put myself back together, with a fresh new pot and fertile soil in which to grow. Now I start the journey home again.