Fast on the heels of my “I don’t do Celtic” post, I get this. This is something I’ve been sitting on for awhile and thinking about. For some reason it feels right to share it today. I’m not sure why, but I’m going with the gut feeling.
You see last month, June 3rd 2011, to be exact, I had a dream. Now it’s important to keep in mind this dream was at a time when I was getting about 2 hours of sleep per night, and my dreams were pretty freaky to begin with, as sleep deprived dreams often are. This dream however was a nightmare in the true sense of the word. Describing it, it doesn’t sound scary, but in the dream I felt real fear.
I was running from something, something big and powerful. I kept running from hiding place to hiding place trying to escape it, but it just kept coming, unrelenting. It was like a force of nature, there was no stopping it. At some point I started finding statues of the Morrigan at every hiding place, letting me know she was the one who was hunting me, and she had been there first, anticipating my every move. There was no where to hide, nowhere to escape to.
I finally was cornered in a cave and she found me, standing before me at the entrance of the cave, obscuring the light like a big dark cloud and cutting off my only path of egress. She had a wicked barbed spear, black as obsidian. She skewered me with the spear, right through the shoulder, and pinned me to the ground. I writhed and tried to escape, but there was no escape, she held me firm.
“All of your other oaths are hereby dissolved. You belong to me now”. Then she twisted the spear just to drive her point home.
The kicker? Hekate was in the cave too, sitting calmly and peacefully, her face not showing any emotion, just watching.
It was a pretty intense dream. The primary interpretation of course would be that the Morrigan has claimed me and Hekate is in on the deal. After the dream, I did some research on the Morrigan, whom I must admit to knowing next to nothing about, and I really didn’t feel any particular pull to her to tell the truth. Irish mythology holds next to no interest for me (I may have one Irish ancestor that I know of , but that’s it). Quite frankly, I’m happy enough with Hekate thank you! Am I just supposed to drop my current oaths and patron on the basis of a single dream, even one as scary as this? I don’t think so! I chalked it up to “just a dream” and went on my way. But it’s been in the back of my mind ever since, percolating.
I don’t have much a draw to the Morrigan. Besides I don’t do Celtic (beyond Cernunnos), remember? I mean she seems interesting and all, but not enough to give Hekate up for. Not by a long shot. Still, and this is something I’ve never said publicly, but I have this sneaking fear sometimes that Hekate was meant to serve as initiator for me, pick me up, dust me off, and set me back down on the path. Maybe not necessarily meant to be my primary deity relationship, however much I may want her to be. Also, does one really spurn the Morrigan? That seems to have worked out so well for Cu Chuchlain, right? Also, maybe I’m missing out on something important here? There is something to be said for going places you are uncomfortable spiritually to grow. If you stay right where you are comfortable, with deities and practices who match your comfort level and ability exactly, will you ever grow spiritually or just stay stagnant?
A part of me can see a benefit here. She would probably work better along side my other primary deity relationship, Cernunnos, and I still have a discord between my witch and druid paths that I could see her bringing more into harmony, with her foot in both paths as it were.
I’ve disregarded this dream for awhile, but last night I got, in stark contrast to the violence of the original dream, a gentle reminder from her and a few pokes for good measure. One wonders what the next reminder would be if I ignored this gentle one? I’m not saying I’m dumping Hekate here, not even close! It’s going to take a lot more convincing from both sides for that. I may give the Morrigan a chance though, and start to try to get to know her.
I’m not really sure where to begin though.