So awhile back I posted about my dream regarding The Morrigan. Despite advice to go for it, for the most part I had convinced myself that I really don’t want to, which for the most part is true. You see, I’m pretty much a Hekate man. I’m comfortable with Hekate. I’ve devoted a lot of time into my devotion to Hekate. I’ve collected numerous Hekaten rituals which I’ve painstakingly memorized, I work with numerous spirits which are all dedicated to her service, I’m a member of the Covenant of Hekate, which provides me with the first time in years fellow travelers on the path to talk with and befriend. I likebeing a Hekate devotee, she gives me everything I spiritually need. What do I need another goddess in the mix for?
So I tucked the experience away and tried really hard not to think about it. I mean it’s been 4 months since I had the dream. I’ve always known in the back of my mind however, that come Samhain time I’d have to revisit her. She’s been in the back of my mind lately, a nagging little presence (“when are going to face me”?). To which I plug up my ears and say “I don’t do Irish gods, I can’t hear you! LaLaLa!”. Then last night I had the dream again. I don’t remember much of it this time, but I woke up remembering that I just had the same dream and telling myself I have to do something about it this time.
It’s not that I dislike The Morrigan, its just that I’m afraid of where this might take me. Away from Hekate? I know people will say ‘you can have both’ but I tend to be a one goddess kind of guy. I like to give my all and quite frankly don’t have time to have multiple deity relationships. Plus like I said, my practice now is mostly memorized and comfortable. I’d have to research a whole new set of rituals and invocations, see which ones I like, which ones work and don’t, memorize them, etc. Not the mention the whole monumental task of getting to know a new diety. The thought makes me tired. I don’t want to go back to that whole awkward phase I just got out of!
But she won’t relent, so I’ve decided to let her in, give it a try and see where things take me.I keep seeing Hekate sitting there quietly and unmoving in the dream, clearly giving her consent. What do they know that I don’t? Perhaps this could lead me someplace where I’m even happier eventually? It would certainly help me make peace with my Druid practice (I have trouble relating Hekate into my Druid practice and always have had). I have to at least face her and see where it goes. How can I say my practice has any integrity if I don’t?
Tonight is the full moon, and I usually spend these nights with Hekate. Although the Morrigan is not a moon goddess it somehow feel right to devote tonight to her instead. I happened to find this book on Amazon, which luckily is available for kindle so I downloaded it. It seems to have the most info on her in one place than I’ve seen yet. I might try one of the rituals in the book just to get my feet wet.
This is totally uncharted territory for me, but you can’t discover anything new if you don’t leave sight of the shores.