Yup I’m posting here again. Oh come on, you knew I’d be back… didn’t you? Of course you did! I’ve actually sat on this entry for about a week now, having written it and thinking to myself “DO I really want to hit post”. Been awhile since Samhain now. I can’t believe how fast the time has flown. For those following at home, I’ve been posting like mad over at my other Witchy blog Howling at the Crossroads, and have been fully engaging my Witch side. I even renewed my oaths to the craft and my gods on Samhain. In short, I’ve taken a good (and much needed) break from Druidry and all the questions of labels for awhile. Right what the (witch)doctor ordered.
Now it’s time to engage again. My ancestors have been whispering to me, like never before, louder and louder. The Morrigan? Oh she’s still around despite my best efforts to tell her to scram, albeit a bit quieter. One does not give blood offerings and expect those bonds to break so easily. Evidently she took me up on that offer to come into my life.My goal however is to become a bit more quiet about my deity relationships, having gotten burned in that arena in the past.
Now is the time for me to become whole. My biggest problem is that I seem to have a problem with walking multiple paths. As Teo Bishop recently put it:
Forgive me for my machinations, but I feel this need to find and develop a firm religious identity; one that is exactly what it is, and that functions in a clear, delineated way. I want something that simply is one thing.
I can relate to that statement, hell to the entire blog post (the comments were helpful too!). One Thing is what I’ve always wanted. I wonder why this is? Is it Christian baggage for those of us who grew up in such an environment? You are either a Christian, or a Muslim, or Buddhist, etc. Hard classifications, distinct lines, black and white. This idea is fostered on many who are new to paganism too. You must choose! Are you a recon? A Wiccan? An eclectic? Choose Choose Choose (Before all the good labels are taken?)! Also, it’s an idea I formed looking at other pagans as I was just starting, those who are devoted to one deity above all else. I am practitioner of system X dedicated to Deity Y.
But the truth is, I’m not going to get that. I’ve been working happily on my Witch path these past few months, which has given me much respite and happiness, but I still eventually got called back to walk this path, the Druidic path as well. I don’t mean in terms of a longing or pull to that direction (though there is that), I mean I literally got pulled back and told by my ‘powers that be’ I needed to get back to work, that quitting was not an option. The only way through the forest is right through the center it seems.
I’m seeing path multiplicity becoming more the norm now anyway. Jason Miller recently posted a wonderful post about his own diverse background:
Point being, that a large part of my calling in magic is based on my ability to see the common threads (and stark differences) between traditions, and also to see what lies behind them – that eternal stream from which all expressions of magic emerge as bubble from. Every time I tried to stick to one stream, I feel like I am betraying the deepest part of my soul.
“The deepest part of my soul” was what got me. Yeah, know exactly what that feels like. Recently M.C. wrote about his own work in learning Sicialian Stregheia in addition to his well known work as a grimiore magician. As a recent commenter on my other blog pointed out, even the chaos mages have branched out and dedicated themselves to certain systems (Ah Chaos Magic, another topic of interest dear to my hear these days).
Still there the two paths are distinct, though there is much overlap. The Confessions of an Urban Druid blog wrote a really great article about the differences between Druidry and Witchcraft and why she is a Druid and not a Witch.
There is such a thing as a Witch, and I am not one. That is, there is definitely a certain kind of personality, a certain flavor of magic and mysticism, a certain body of symbols and experiences, that are “witchy”. Whether people call themselves witches, Wiccans, Feri, Faery, or what have you, some people are witchy and some aren’t–and I am not.
This is something I myself agree with.However for me the balance between those two halves are what feeds my spirit. I’ve long learned that I need both those dark lunar paths, and bright solar paths to engage my magic and make it sing.
In keeping with her analogy as Witchcraft being lunar based, and Druidry being solar based (an idea I share), I would say that when I see the moon something Witchy stirs within me and I want to trance ecstatically and chant my spells to the wind. When I witness the sunrise (and having a 2 year old who likes to get up at 4:30 am allows me to do just that, more often than I’d like!) I want to feel the warmth of the sun on my face and greet the day as a Druid.
In the end I still find little difference. Names, What I want is a life lived in ritual, surrounded by the whisperings of the spirits who have always been there since time began, to bask in the comforting presence of my gods, and live a life suffused with spirit.