I retreat to my “power spot” on the beach, where I have been frequenting all summer. It’s a place where Earth, Sea, and Sky all meet. The once inviting water, now harsh and filled with threatening
waves, the warm sand now covered with a thin layer of snow. A fallen
branch, washed and smoothed in the tumbling waves, lends itself to my purpose, temporarily becoming my staff. I mark
my circle on the ground in the snow and call out to the four traditional sacred totems of the directions, Hawk, Stag, Salmon, and Bear. The leaves that once hid me from view, now gone from the trees. I stand visible and vulnerable but confidently call out to them. No one else it seems comes this way once the weather turns frigid. I invite my gods new and old and the spirit of the lake, the playful Serpent Winnebozo, to witness my vows :
I make my promise to be true to my path
To seek out that which nourishes my soul
To allow my ember to grow to a raging fire
To serve my gods as long as we both will it to be so
To dedicate my practice from this day forth to the seeking of Truth
To recognize that it won’t always be easy
There will be time when I feel distant and disconnected from my path and
To resolutely stay on the path anyway
I vow to live in such a way that honors the Earth, my Gods, and my family
To live up to my true magical potential
To pursue the ways of Druidry in whichever ways they continue to reveal
themselves to me. I vow to always continue learning, and to always continue to seeking way
to make myself a better Druid.
I look down at the circle I have drawn. Though I did not notice it when I
came in, the area is somehow filled with rose petals, in the middle of
December, all lodged and wet in the snow. I take it as my answer from the Earth.
And so I begin a new. Having within the past 3 months reaffirmed both my commitment to both my Craft and now my Druidry (which I had planned to walk away from forever but just will neot let me go). I went home and cleaned off my Hekate altar. Yes, it was as painful as I thought it would be. I almost talked myself out of doing it. I did it anyway. I just knew that nothing would ever change unless I started fresh. Totally fresh. I washed the wood of the table with Florida water and rebuilt.
Only bones and tools this time, no man made deity images as of yet. That may change, but for now I’m enjoying the more “shamanic” feel of only being surrounded by eye sockets staring out, though not empty, bone and fur. One thing I’m absolutely sure of is that I want to do more “bone work”. My path seems to be taking more of a Shamanic edge these days.
I erected a small Hekate shrine in the corner. I’ll always be an initiate of Hekate. This I know, I’ve made my vows to her and I don’t take such things lightly. However, I’ve known for a long time, and have lied to myself about it, that she was an initiator on my path. More and more she has been withdrawing as my primary deity relationship. I will always treasure our relationship, I will continue to tend her shrine and keep her rites, but in order for me to grow I know she is “kicking me out of the nest” so to speak. “Go, there are others waiting” she tells me. And so I do.
It’s been 6 months since I had that dream about The Morrigan. I’ve told her no thanks, but that didn’t really seem to work as well as I had hoped. Miraculously she’s still around even after these 6 months, and I’ve finally begun working with her more in depth. I’m not swearing any oaths, not jumping head long into another patronage but just accepting her and working with her at this point, which seems to be enough. It feels good. Weird thing is, I’m find her somehow more “present” than I’m used to with Hekate, who has traditionally been very distant. It’s taking some getting used to. I’m wearing this raven skull as a devotional reminder of her lately.
Also hanging around again, are
what I’m beginning to realize as my ancestral gods, Wuldor and Skadhi. I think their always kind of their in the background, but I think they are deities related to my ancestral line in some way. Before he died, I was able to get out of my father some more details about where our family is from. He was born on the banks of the Ullr river it seems, which would explain why I always feel close to these two. I’m finding I’m wanting to work with them again too. The thing is however, I know from experience that these two are always the “front runners” whenever the Norse gods deep to come back into my life. First comes Wuldor and Skadhi, then Odin and the rest are not far behind. It hasn’t happened yet, but I would not be surprised if I go more in this direction. I honestly miss the Norse gods, who are the gods of blood.
My relationship with Old Horney is unchanged as ever. So a nice mix of Norse and Celtic for the moment, which is alright by me. Hell, I’m beginning to feel like a Polytheist again (Hums: It’s beginning to look a lot like polytheism, every where you go….).