So I did some working with Elubatel last week. Word around the inter-webs is that lots of people experience depression working with this angel. Pffft I thought, I’m not prone to depression in any way shape or form. It won’t hit me. I totally ignored the warnings and totally got slapped with a bout of depression that’s lasted for the past 2 days since invoking Him/Her. Another tick in the “Holy crap this shit it real” category. Maybe a blog post will snap me out of it?
So Last night’s full moon was one that was much needed for me. I’ve been concentrating a lot on ritual magic as of late. I don’t regret it one bit, it’s been feeding my soul like never before, but I haven’t done much witchcraft or been focusing on Hekate recently.
Something I’ve been threatening for years now is giving up all the other gods and working with Hekate in exclusion, having her being the only “pagan” deity I work with. It’s something I hemmed and hawed about, I never made the decision it just seemed to happen naturally. One by one every other god in my life seems to have fallen by the wayside until only Hekate remained. Whether this was her intention or just the way it happened I don’t know. That’s pretty much the state of things now.
I seem to also have fallen into a very fulfilling practice, combining my old love of traditional witchcraft and my new found love of ritual magic. I’ve honestly never felt so good about my path. I’ve been doing magic again, lots of it. I’ve been invoking angels and spirits and undergoing initiations into spheres.I’m working with new techniques, and slowly building a whole range of tech to work with daily. It’s never a dull moment around here.
However seems that on dark and full moons I devote to Hekate and my spirits and get Witchy with it. Plough the bloody acre, call the spirits and the like. You know how it is.
So my relationship with Hekate has become such that she’s my only goddess now, and dammit I like it that way. I’ve given my oaths to her and I will always keep them. However she’s also been her characteristically distant self. This has not bothered me. She’s basically told me “Go play! Come back when you need to, I’ll be here”. Instead of feeling dependent on her I feel like she’s there in the background for support as I go out and do what I need to do, explore and learn and become the best damn mage/witch I can be.
In the end I think that’s one of the biggest draws for me to magic, the constant learning. You can spend your entire life exploring and learning and not even come close to knowing it all. It’s not going to stop me from trying, but I’m guaranteed to have a steady stream of new challenges and things to learn throughout my life. God I love being a magician.