Years ago, the summer before I met my wife actually, I did a lot of rock climbing at Devils Lake state park.I had just gotten dumped by the love of my life up until that point and and decided on a whim this was what I needed to do to heal. It worked.
I learned a lot of lessons here. One of my favorite memories is having ripped out two toe nails and ripped up and bloodied my legs to the point of actually dripping blood and barely having enough strength to even hold on to the rock yet alone progress upward and feeling ultimate triumph at pushing through the exhaustion and finally reaching the top and seeing turkey vultures fly far down below me. This is a place I come to time and time again in my mind and I continue learning from it.
However, the one lesson that really stuck with me came not from my own experience but from a fellow climber. He once described the first time he climbed, and how he knew deep in the core of his being how he would never be complete without climbing in his life. He told me he had never felt that was about anything else, no other person, activity, or anything. His passion in life was climbing and he knew it would have to be a continual part of his life for him to feel fulfilled and happy.
I knew exactly what he was talking about. For me it did not end up being climbing (I never hit the crags again after that year sadly), but it was magic, always has been. That’s exactly the way I feel about it. I love magic, and it has to be a part of my world no matter what else is going on. It’s what I was born to do, anytime I’ve stepped away from it has brought me nothing but misery. When you are called to take up the wand nothing else will do it for you. Nothing. You won’t be complete until you begin the work. Once you do you will know a feeling of fulfillment unsurpassed by anything else. There is always something new to learn, always those who will be better than you. I treasure these inadvertent teachers.
There are other things that make me happy sure, I think that’s necessary to be a well rounded human being (no one likes the guy who talks about magic 24/7 and gets uncomfortable when the topic steers away from it). I’m fully capable of blending in. My co-workers probably would never guess. 99% of my friends are non-magical and the subject seldom if ever comes up. I have other interests. At the end of the day, while the rest of the world sleeps the magic is all mine however. Mine alone. This is when I am truly myself in a way I can never be to the outside world. My true world is one of angels and demons, spirits and sigils. I like it this way. I can’t imagine it any other way. I don’t even want to try honestly.
I have hard time hiding my enthusiasm about magic. I’m an Aries, we’re like that. When I love something I want the world to love it too. Since I don’t have magical friends in my everyday life (life long solitary remember), I’ve had to make internet connections with like minded folks. This is part of why I blog, the people. Twitter and the blogosphere comprise my magical community. I treasure these connections and the friendships I have made. Thank you to all who have stuck with me throughout all the twists and turns and changes. All the title changes, and total reversal of directions. You guys are awesome! Odds are there will be a lot more ahead, its how I roll. 😉
I’ve met so many great people through this. I like to share what I’m doing, get advice, or just use it as a sounding board. I like to post photos of what I’m doing, not because I’m trying to show off or convince you how cool and powerful I am. I just like sharing my passion with like minded folks, pure and simple.
I haven’t written much lately. Partly this is because I just haven’t felt inspired to do so, kind of burned out. The lack of writing is also partly because I’ve felt pressured to “be a real grown up mage” and observe the “to be silent” rule, because you know… that’s what real mages do right?
I honestly don’t believe that “to be silent” means shrouding yourself in secrecy or “not talking about a spell or else it won’t work”. I think that shows a very shallow understanding of the maxim and is something akin to parroting the Wiccan rede means “Do whatever you want as long as you don’t harm anyone”. There is a greater meaning for those who contemplate it. No I won’t tell you what it is. Yes that is a hint. 😉
Now I’m not going to tell you the names and seals of my familiars. If I show a pic, its because I have permission to do so. I’m not stupid! But I do think that sharing experience is important. Once most magical tradition was an oral tradition. These days those of us without the benefit of a formal teacher learn from books mostly. Yet with the invention of blogs and social media something wonderful has happened. People are learning from one anothers experiences again. From word of mouth. From “I did this and it worked” to “Hey check out this new system of evocation I thought up”. Even though it is now words on a screen, that “oral” tradition is returning. We are learning from each other again.
This blog exists solely for me to share my passion. I learned SO much from others who took the time to blog their experiences; experiences which directed my own development. When I started this, I wanted to do the same even if I didn’t feel I was a super-adept or anything. Most of the time I have no idea what I’m talking about (at least it feels that way!). I do think everyone has something important to share though regardless of their skill level. I don’t care if you’re a grand hierophant or rank beginner, if your passionate about magic I want to hear what you have to say.
I would not want to live a life that did not have magic in it, it would hold little interest for me. My own magical work is absolutely fulfilling to me in every way possible, but in my enthusiasm I enjoy sharing what I can with those of like mind. This is the place I do that, and I will continue to do so.