“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams … glitter in the dark near Tanhauser Gate. All those … moments will be lost … in time, like tears … in rain.” -Roy Batty Bladerunner
I like to joke. I also like magic. Thus, I like to joke about magic. Usually on Twitter. Sometimes I have to wonder how people take that. From the outside, if you don’t know me, it might seem like I’m being a braggart or doing the “look at me, magic!” thing. The truth is… I find the magical life utterly absurd and I like to share that. Think about it. As magicians we see some crazy shit, but that’s not exactly what I’m talking about. Those who live the magical life, who live and breath their magic, will often times find themselves in positions that non-magical people would find utterly absurd. I think it’s good to recognize those times and laugh at ourselves a little bit when they occur. It’s a unique part of living the magical life. For instance some situations I’ve found myself in.
- That time when the neighbor came to door holding eggs he found underneath our tree, to warn my wife that our toddler is probably stealing our eggs and hiding them under trees, and she had to tell him that no, it was probably just her husband.
- When my wife and I both got packages from UPS on the same day. Hers contained new summer clothes. Mine, a goat skull.
- When you find yourself on an thousand year old Meso-American step pyramid at midnight, holding public ritual in the middle of a raging thunderstorm, soaked to the bone and it hits you… Normal people just don’t do this shit.
- Every budding necromancer fondly remembers their teenage years, hiding from police high beams behind grave stones in the cemetery… right?
- This week I had to go through a security checkpoint and have my pocket belongings scanned. The guard was particularly perplexed by my mojo hand, resulting in an explanation as to why I was carrying around a bag of roots and herbs and just what it was for.
- Speaking of security checkpoints, try going through an airport security line with a 14″ statue of Baphomet in your bag, and notice the reaction from the x-ray peeps.
- Or try explaining to your PhD thesis adviser why you just bought two dozen black candles and a voodoo doll at a international scientific conference in New Orleans. (My answer: “Well, because you cant get them back home”).
- That awkward moment when your friend asks you to do a tarot reading for him because he doesn’t believe in “that stuff”, and you tell him his fiance is pregnant with someone else’s baby and he gets mad at you… Until he finds out his fiance is pregnant with someone else’s baby.
- Who hasn’t walked two miles through the middle of town carrying a Big Ass Cast Iron Cauldron? (picture a very professional looking man in business dress and a tie caring a big black cast iron cauldron through town as if it’s a normal everyday occurance).
- Harvesting a raccoon skeleton you found on your lunch break, only to go back to work smelling of dead raccoon and hoping no one notices.
I mean come on… these things are utterly absurd, and this is my life. Exactly the way that I like it. I think there is a place for mirth in a magical practice. Thats not to say I don’t take my practice seriously. I take it VERY seriously otherwise the above situations wouldn’t happen. But have you ever peeked into a modern magical/pagan message board? You’d think that the fate of the world hangs on the back of these magical practioners. It’s all Very. Serious. Business. All the time. Where is the mirth? Why so serious? I’ve never been into Discordianism, but I can see their point. I think the magical world would be a bit less infufferable if people just stood back and took the time to laugh at themselves once in awhile.
Beside my gods, have a sense of humor. Sure theres the initiations and trials and shit, but they like to laugh too. I once asked Odin for a clear sign while on a walk, only about 30 seconds later to come to a the word “SIGN” painted in blue in the middle of the road by a road crew (apparently marking where the new street sign will go). Don’t tell me the Old Man wasn’t up there cracking up at that shit.
So if you find me joking about magic, its not because I’m trying to show you what a great and powerful mage I am by dangling tidbits of my oh so great life in front of you. I’m just sharing with you a bit of what my magical life is like… And sometimes, it’s just fucking hilarious (to me at least). So good readers, assuming there are still any of you left after my recent blogging hiatus. Share with me! What are some of the more absurd moments in your magical life?
Feral Druidry: The Crossroads Companion 
Fiance found a small jar labelled ‘POISON’ in big letters. Wondered why it was in the kitchen. ‘I was just emptying my pockets’ is apparently not a reassuring explanation. That’ll teach me to put flying ointment away.
You almost, almost make me wish I was on Twitter just so that I could follow you tweets. Almost. 🙂
Consecrating a witch’s bottle, gazing at the beautiful full moon glowing amidst the evening clouds….only to realize it wasn’t the moon behind a cloud. It was a spotlight hitting a cloud.
Lol! Oh yes really sometimes I think we Pagans take things too seriously. Among unusual happenings:
Explaining that crow wing in the Freezer after the week-long power outage. Ick sorta… 😉
The full color photo of Moi Drawing Down the Moon, taken without permission; that the Irish-Catholic relatives saw in a local paper…
The FBI query about the item staked with Iron just on the Property line…
The Teacher who asked me what Earth Science Religion was…
And those Card Reading moments when one half of the couple is Stepping Out. But how can you say that, When the guilty one is shooting Eye darts your way ?
And, taking a living tree to my Father’s wake…
We all need to laugh more !
*applause*
I think way, way too many occultists and spirit-workers are way, way too serious. I take my work seriously – I don’t take myself seriously. My spirit companion is fond of saying “wyrd is a troll”, and he’s right. People need to be able to lighten up, have fun, and laugh more. *Especially* with the intensity of the work – it’s easy to fry your circuits, and easier if you’re not grounded, and being able to retain a sense of humor about this stuff is part of what helps keep us grounded.
(And now I’m fondly remembering some of my more awkward moments with magic and ritual, as well as what a typical evening of communing with spirits looks like. ;P)
That is the best picture.
This is excellent, my friend. Great stories. I about died laughing. I know that I tend to take my spirituality too seriously at times, and that a lot of us do that regularly. If we could all step back and laugh a bit sometimes, much like this, I feel the community as a whole would be much less confrontational. This is something I’ve been working on. I am glad that someone else sees this as well. Thank you for sharing.
Adorable. And yeah, even with the deities that may be (both Hekate and Herne numbered in mine), the rule that still applies and apparently in both direction is: “Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke!”
I like to laugh too…
Like the time I was on a pilgrimage to a scared site, sorry, sacred site, yes it was probably very scared as well, but I digress… This dark energy, was watching me as I entered the grove of trees – annoyed that the clues to Her name were too cryptic for me, I shook my fist at the sky and cried. ” I need a clear sign… Like a slap in the face! ” to which a branch went WACK right across my cheek! …
Like the time, donkeys years ago, I was told to go to the garden gate at dusk and see who came to talk with me…. Er, it was Mrs Williams from next door… Only when I saw Mrs Williams from next door the next day she hadn’t been talking to me, so she said….
Or on one of my trips to Orkney, asking for the blessings of the Ancestors while there, in full flow at the Stones of Steness, offering milk and bread with the kind of gusto you need in a windy place… And a coach load of Japanese tourists stopped to take photos of this lone mad woman, hair writhing like snakes on her knees with sea gulls circling above waiting for a feast!
Yes, you have to laugh… Life would be very dull otherwise 😉
As a scientist/postdoc.. the thought of going to such a conference and picking up some supplies while there makes me grin like crazy. I took a minimal altar setup and my Tarot deck to the last one I attended – although I didn’t mention this to my then-advisor!
With Halloween season around the corner, last week I bought a bunch of small decorative brooms in a store. I got weird looks from the cashier, who asked “Why on earth do you need so many?”. So, instead of lying, I simply answered, “I’m stocking up. You don’t find this stuff year round, you know?”.
Normal people just don’t do this shit. LOL
Hehe! I’ve totally done that too! 😉